Please enable Javascript to watch this video Topics writer Tim Connell’s challenge as chosen by Topics readers was to kiss a baby goat. Not sure what the goat thought of this.
Nanjing Night Net

Topics writer Tim Connell’s challenge as chosen by Topics readers was to kiss a baby goat. Not sure what the goat thought of this.

Topics writer Tim Connell’s challenge as chosen by Topics readers was to kiss a baby goat. Not sure what the goat thought of this.

HI-VIZ STRIP: Tyrone Roberts.

OWNED IT: Champion bakers Will Rockstroh and Bailey Carter, of Raymond Terrace Public School.

MOBILE CARRIAGE: The Saab.

THANKS everyone. Thanks very much. In our Newcastle Show challenge, 49per cent of you voted for Topics to kiss a baby goat.

Our howls of protest that the other three options polled a collective 51per cent (meaning most voters didn’t want the goat smooch) fell on the boss’s selectively deaf ears. So off to the show we trudged, through the rain and smoke from sideshow vendors.

First, we were roped into judging a heat of a kids’ cooking comp between four girls from Merewether Public School – who made rainbow pancakes and ice-cream – and two lads from Raymond Terrace Public School, who served up meringue nests with yoghurt. It was all delicious, by the way.

We awarded it to the lads, partly because we liked their dish, partly because it can’t be easy being a boy who likes cooking in Raymond Terrace and they just owned it.

Then it was time to face the goat – or the ‘‘scapegoat’’, according to Dungog-based breeder Sean Wallace. Not only did he give us that one-liner; he also provided the luckless animal.

‘‘Tim’’, a three-month-old Australian miniature goat, kissed us, really, if you want the truth. But try telling that to the guy who filmed it for theherald南京夜网.au. You kiss one goat …

Blindsided by bright idea

IN case you didn’t get the memo that the Knights are owned by a mob that likes mining, the team has unveiled a new ‘‘hi-viz’’ strip to tie in with a NSW Minerals Council sponsorship. Get in quick, kids.

The club says the uniform is ‘‘to show … support for the 12,000 mine workers and their families who live and work in the Hunter and love their footy’’.

Topics suspects just as many Macca’s employees love the game but don’t need the players suiting up like them. But that’s by the by. Our real concern is the on-field implications.

For instance, won’t the bright orange material make the players easier to tackle? And avoid? These colours are, after all, an OH&S requirement in some places because they make you stand out like a wharfie at the Newcastle Club.

What if Kurt Gidley picks up the ball from dummy-half and tries to scoot down the short side but the defence, far from being caught out, converges on him? Is there such thing as a blindside if you’re in hi-viz? Like the Yankees’ George-inspired cotton uniforms in Seinfeld, we don’t think they thought this through.

Perhaps the team should look to the Raiders, who blend in pretty well with grass, or the Panthers. It’s no coincidence they’re a better team at night.

Champion carrier

TOPICS was left dumbstruck by a feat of mobile storage at Newcastle West this week.

The driver didn’t let concern for the leather seats of his Saab convertible get in the way of shifting several parts of … whatever that is. This town was built on the back of that kind of can-do.

The guy had nothing, mind you, on a man we saw in Ho Chi Minh balancing no fewer than five gas bottles on his scooter.

Have you admired an ambitious effort to move something by road, either here or overseas? Tell [email protected]南京夜网.au or tweet @TimConnell.